Today I Cussed.

Today I cussed. Not just once, but multiple times. In truth, today was really one of those days that I really should have taken another Ambien and just gone back to bed. The two pots of coffee and the cigarette I bummed off a lady at the Unemployment Office did nothing for me except leave me jittery and smelling like an ashtray.

I’ve been unemployed for one month now. Most blogs I have read from others in my position recommend taking the first two to three months after being laid off and doing some soul searching. One blogger said, “I took a two week vacation… Resting, relaxing and the joys of having Room Service helped me find inner peace and have time to refocus my energy and rediscover myself.” Obviously she either had a ton left in her savings account or the state of California pays a lot more each week in Unemployment than South Carolina. (And she likes to alliterate with the letter “r.”) While the idea of a 2 week vacation sounds glorious, I for one am more concerned about paying rent and making sure my dogs have food in their bowls.

I’ve tried to be diligent in applying for jobs each week. I promised myself I wouldn’t count how many jobs I have applied for, but at this point it must be well over 50. To date, ZERO call backs. I’ve told myself over and over it must be the holidays. “No one does hiring during the holiday season.” Is that the truth? Hopefully. For now that is what I am choosing to believe.  Hopefully once 2010 starts my resume will move to the top and maybe I will start getting some call backs.

Yet, though my use of profanity (which, some might believe that plus the cigarette I smoked might send me straight to hell) and my unfaithfulness, God is so faithful to continue to provide. Daily I am amazed at the encouragement from friends and family and the support of those around me. I am sure there will be many frustrating and tiresome days ahead, but we serve a gracious and faithful God.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 1I will be found by you…”  (Jeremiah 29:11-14)


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