Squirrel Sex

Squiggly the squirrel lived in my attic last spring.  Though we never met face to face, the little dude seemed quite harmless.  His sleeping pattern was opposite mine and that created a problem, but thankfully Squiggly found his way out of the attic and back into the wild.

Recently it seems that Squiggly has returned and this time he brought his mistress.  Squirrel sex is now underway in my attic.  It seems that they have than the verse about “be fruitful and multiply” to heart because it sounds like there is a whole village of baby squirrels living up there.

So tonight, at 11:30p I decided it was time to do something about this growing problem.  Thankfully as a renter, my Landlord, Mr. Perna will have the joy of ridding my attic of Squiggly and his family.  For your reading pleasure, below is the e-mail I send my Landlord:

John-

I know Blakely told you there are squirrels in the attic. Originally we thought it was just one or two, but it sounds like they are having squirrel sex and being fruitful and multiplying- rapidly. There is no way I am about to go in the attic and try to hunt them down and “relocate” them to a happier environment (or kill them), so could you PLEASE come, or send someone to come and get the little critters out of the attic ASAP! It’s 11:30p and they are running back and forth in the attic, keeping us up and making the dogs go crazy. Blakely is spending the night elsewhere because they are so loud and I can’t sleep because of them either. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, can we do something, anything ASAP?

Thanks for taking care of this ASAP. They’re annoying and loud as hell, and I really don’t want to be attacked by squirles or have one die and stink up the place.

I’ll keep you posted as the efforts to “relocate” (or kill) Squiggly unfold.

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