The Terrible Thing

“The terrible thing, the almost impossible thing, is to hand over your whole self—all your wishes and precautions—to Christ.”
—C.S. Lewis, Counting the Cost


Many thoughts race though my head tonight. It’s been a long day. I worked over 15 hours at Starbucks today. Kind of frustrated with a lot of things right now. I want this to be true:

I once was fatherless,
a stranger with no hope;
Your kindness wakened me,
Awakened me, from my sleep

Your love it beckons deeply,
a call to come and die.
By grace now I will come
And take this life, take your life.

Sin has lost it’s power,
death has lost it’s sting.
From the grave you’ve risen
VICTORIOUSLY!

Into marvelous light I’m running,
Out of darkness, out of shame.
By the cross you are the truth,
You are the life, you are the way

My dead heart now is beating,
My deepest stains now clean.

Your breath fills up my lungs.
Now I’m free. now I’m free!

Lift my hands and spin around,
See the light that i have found.
Oh the marvelous light
Marvelous light


It’s not true… At least not yet. I really need to get alone right now and just meditate on who God is, His grace and the passion behind His love.

Oh, did I mention my hamster, Starbuck, is mad at me. I think I have pissed him off because he like to sleep all day and play all night… I tried to wake him up and play with him today and he got all mad and made a mean face at me.

Also,

pray for me financially. Our tip rate was down really bad this week and that really screwed me over financially… I really depend on the tips being good– and with sales being up, even at a record high, tips should have been over $2/hr. But the tip rate was a low of $1.38/hr. I only worked 15 hours last week, so I took home about $20 in tips. I am used to taking home over $50 a week… Needless to say, I am needing an additional $30 for bills… Actually a heck more than $30… Could $100 fall from the heavens? PLEASE! I need sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a great day. I can feel it.

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