During my workouts T.J. will say things like “a couple more,” or, “5 more burpees and you’re done.” While I often think to myself, “Seriously?  I pray to God he loses count cause there’s no way in hell that’s going to happen,” this morning I surprised myself (and I believe him too) by continuing to press on even after reaching my rep goal. After several instances like that, T.J. finally said, “you’re stronger than you let on.”  The result of that conversation will be him increasing the weight and rep counts in future workouts. The benefit? Better health, stronger muscles and a sexier beach body. (Again: sarcasm…. or is it?)

It got me thinking though, how often do we lie about what’s truly going on inside? Do you put on a false front so that on the outside you appear strong, confident and sure of yourself, yet on the inside you’re slowing dying and paralyzed by fear? Or maybe it’s the opposite: Maybe you’ve yet to tap into your inner strength or boldness that’s been trapped inside. Instead you’re living a life of weakness, feeling inferior and inadequate, all while deep inside there is a man trapped inside with boldness of a lion. You simply need to fight though your pain and insecurities to move toward a life of confidence and victory.

Regardless of your current situation, strong or weak, confident or insecure, one thing is certain: we must be honest with ourselves and those around us. It’s only through honestly, hard work, sweat and tears that we’ll achieve our true potential. It’s a lesson I’m learning that not only applies in the gym, but also in my relationships with those around me.

• Garlic Ginger Chicken (By far one of my favorite chicken recipes! I substituted chicken breasts.)
• Lemon Roasted Green Beans
• Roasted Broccoli (A new, healthy, yet “comfort food tasting” recipe that will make you WANT to eat your broccoli!)
• Egg Muffins (Need a quick breakfast you can grab and go? Here you go! Make a dozen on Sunday and you’re set for the week!)

• You’re vegan?
• You actually run in those things?
• Won’t that much bacon kill you?
• Was gastric bypass surgery painful?

(And for the record: No. Yes. No. WTF!?)

The other day someone asked me rather bluntly, “What’s up with you working out with a Personal Trainer? I thought you of all people wouldn’t need one.” At first I was shocked, and honestly, somewhat offended. My man pride instantly wanted to flare up and pull some macho sounding excuse out of my ass. Instead in that moment I responded with a humble, “Yes, I have a Personal Trainer.”

Four days ago the ball dropped in Times Square, signaling the start of a new year. If you’re anything like the rest of the human race, you’ve most likely made New Year’s Resolutions. While my commitment to lose weight and get in shape wasn’t the result of a New Year’s Resolution, but instead that of a scare with my heart, I’ve learned one lesson that applies no mater where you’re at in your journey to lose weight, quit smoking, stop swearing or become a better boss: YOU CAN’T DO IT ALONE. 

My journey toward health and fitness began June 4th 2010 in a hospital room, surrounded by my closest friends (plus a doctor and a few nurses). Even at the event that started the ball rolling, my friends were there. All along the journey the support of friends and family remained vital:

• June 7th 2010:  When my friend Mark and I cleaned out the kitchen and took steps to prepare for the journey ahead. | Post: Week One
• June 17th 2010: At the first weigh-in and when I began intense training sessions at the track. | Post: The Track
• July 14th 2010: When I ran my first mile in 13.33. | Post: Kicking The Track’s Ass
• August 5th 2010: When I decided an abusive relationship with my dad had to come to an end. | Post: 26 Years, A Heart Attack and a Bottle of Whiskey
• January 8th 2011: When I partied after reaching my goal of 200lbs. | Post: The Final Weigh-In
• January 29th 2011:  The day I ran my first 5K with my friend Travis Wright. (To this day it’s still one of my most cherished memories.) | Post: My First 5K

All along the journey I’ve never been alone. I’ve been surrounded by amazing friends that have kept me accountable, ran beside me (literally) and rejoiced with me along the journey. So even now, over a year and a half since my journey started, friends (and a Personal Trainer), are just as valuable as on day 1.

In late 2011 work was hectic, dare I even say hellish. My schedule consisted of waking up, going to work, then coming home- only to work from home, then crash and get a few hours of sleep. After weeks of knowing I was living in a unhealthy rut, I set some boundaries and hired a Trainer. I also let my friends and co-workers know about the resolution I had made to refocus on what’s most important: myself, my health and my relationship with God. Out of that refocusing came the decision to hire T.J. as my Trainer. I workout with T.J. twice a week. It’s made an amazing difference in my excitement over my workouts, helped me break out of complacency, not to mention keeping me accountable in my eating, sleep and work/life balance.

So to answer the question: “What’s up with the Personal Trainer?”  I’ll do whatever it takes to succeed in this journey. I can’t do it alone. For me in this season of life, having a Trainer is what it takes.

Does that mean you need to hire a Trainer, see a Counselor or go to Anger Management Classes to achieve your 2012 Resolutions? Maybe. Even more importantly I challenge you to share your resolutions with those closest to you, ask them to hold you accountable and set definitive dates for measuring progress. You can’t do it alone. Besides, success is more fun when shared! 

Be anxious for NOTHING, but in EVERYTHING by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which supposes all understanding, will guard your hearts and mins though Christ Jesus. | Philippians 4:6-7

Balsamic and Rosemary Chicken | Click to Enlarge

About a month into my journey  of the Paleo lifestyle, I stumbled across The Food Lover’s Primal-Palate. Not only was I grateful to have finally found a resource for amazing recipes, but the photography was stunning and the directions for each recipe were simple enough for a bachelor to follow. Bill and Hayley’s blog quickly became my chief resource for planning my weekly menu. Their recipes kept me inspired and eating healthy, all the while not compromising flavor or leaving me feeling as if I was “missing out.” From Pulled Pork Barbecue to Balsamic and Rosemary Chicken, maintaining the Paleo lifestyle has been easier because of Bill and Hayley’s amazing recipes.

I continued to drop pounds and see the transformation take place. In January 2011 I ran my first 5K. After the race I sent Bill and Hayley the below e-mail:

Just wanted to write and share some awesome news with both of you. As I’m sure you saw on my Facebook updates, today was my first 5k. It was an amazing day filled with great excitement. I had set my alarm for 6:45a, but woke up perfectly rested and ready to go at 6:30a. From the starting line to the finish line, the race was so much fun. I finished the race in right at 29 minutes. My goal was to be under 30. Even more, I finished in the upper 1/3 of the runners there this morning!

But, that’s not the point of this e-mail. I wanted to write to say THANKS! This week has been full of meeting with individuals to discuss healthy eating and weight loss/getting in shape. What better way to do that than over a home cooked Paleo meal?! From chicken salad to rosemary chicken, your recipes have made entertaining fun again and inspired others to begin their journey toward healthy living/eating.

Thanks for all the time, effort, taste testing and beauty you put into the blog. You’ve fed me well over the past few weeks and helped me prepare for today’s 5k. So, in some way- you and your creativity with food played a part in my crossing the finish line today. You’re also now playing a part in helping others cross the starting line toward better health and wellness!

When I first heard that Bill and Hayley were working on cookbook, I was ecstatic. Knowing how they  strive for excellence with their blog (the recipes, writing and photography), the book would be nothing short of a masterpiece.

Several days ago my advance copy of Make It Paleo arrived. I’ve had about a week to flip though and create a few of the more than 200 grain-free recipes included. The book is conveniently categorized and has a handy “whisk meter” which shows the complexity of each recipe. The Paleo lifestyle means introducing some not so common items like Coconut Oil, Grass Fed Butter, Avocado Oil and Palm Shortening into one’s cooking. Thankfully Make It Paleo includes a dictionary of common Paleo foods, a Pantry Checklist, and an ingredient cheat sheet, making cooking easy for anyone just starting the Paleo lifestyle.

Chicken Satay with Sunbutter | Click to Enlarge

Tonight after a great workout with my friend Mark, he and I made one of the new recipes included in Make It Paleo: Chicken Satay with Sunbutter Sauce. The difficulty (two whisks) was accurate, along with the prep time. (I hate cook books that tell you how amazingly simple and easy it will be, but an hour later you’re still stuck chopping, measuring and waiting.) I can also say that Bill and Hayley didn’t PhotoShop the photos included in the book (at least I don’t think so), because thankfully my creation tonight turned out equally as beautiful. This dish would be perfect for entertaining during the holidays or to add some ethnic flare to any night of the week. Check out the recipe for the Chicken Satay below. If you want the recipe for the Sunbutter Sauce, which trust me, you do, you’ll have to buy the book!

Order Make It Paleo now via Amazon or Barnes & Nobel. 

The last two weeks have been one of those times that, several months from now, I hope to look back and believe I did what was best and led with boldness, despite how difficult the circumstances. I’ve terminated seven Team Members (all in the same day), planned a Leadership Retreat for our Management Team and appeased investors that, for some reason, love to scrutinize everything, even down to the shade of red I use on my weekly reports.

A Realization: During the last few weeks I’ve had numerous sleepless nights and early mornings. Instead of counting sheep in my dreams, I’ve found myself lying awake in bed, plagued with anxiety, attempting to map out strategic plans and making to-do lists in my head. I’ve found it difficult to distance myself from the office, my staff and the looming deadlines.

Today upon returning from the Leadership Retreat I had a realization: I’ve neglected what’s most important to me. I often refer to the saying “you make time for what’s important to you” when determining my priorities. Work has been my chief priority. I’ve neglected friends (who I consider family), fitness, sleep and time alone. (Many would expect to see faith listed as one of the things neglected. I am thankful that my faith in God has remained strong and has given me strength to lead despite my weakness.)

A Resolution: With only weeks remaining before the holiday season commences, it’s important to me to take time for refocus and prioritize. Starting Monday I resolve to:

• Eat Balanced: 3 healthy meals per day, snacks if desired, but no cheating (junk food, peanut butter, or things I know are destructive to a healthy diet, including alcohol). I love to cook. It’s a means of creative expression for me. It also provides time to gather with friends. During the days ahead I resolve to make healthy eating a priority and invite others to join me.
• Sleep 9: Nothing good happens after 10p (at least during the week). I resolve to be in bed each evening by 10p and to wake up no later than 7a.
• Exercise: I’ve committed to run a half marathon in February. I’ll spend the months leading up to it training not only physically, but also mentally during my runs daily. I’m also going to bust my ass in the gym 5 days a week.
• Friends + Family: Involve my friends in every aspect of my life: dining together, exercising together and enjoying every day together.

I will admit that by the end of this video, I was in tears. I sat in my office this morning listening to the fear in this man’s voice as he told his dad for the first time that he’s gay. There was the questioning of “will you love me… period?” Then there was the sound of relief once the burden he had been carrying for years was off his chest. For once he could finally start living in freedom, openness and honesty.

This post isn’t a debate of homosexuality. During the 28 years of my life, one thing has proven true: I live with a fear of man. I am more concerned about what you’ll think of me, if you’ll remain my friend and if your love toward me will continue. I continually sacrifice myself and Christ’s calling and instead settle for a life plagued with insecurity because I am afraid of what others will think of me if I were to live in true honesty. I hide my fears, failures and short comings because at the end of the day I am more concerned about so called “love” from so called “friends” than living a life of brutal honesty, exposing my fears, learning from my failures and overcoming my short comings.

From the my office to the dinner table, the gym to the church, far too many of us live in fear. A friend once told me “fuck what other people think.” While you might disagree with the choice of language, there’s truth in that statement. Get over what others will think, or better yet, what you think others will think. The soldier in the video above was fearful of what he thought his dad’s reaction would be. He was afraid because he thought his dad would be angry and would turn his back on him. Instead he was met with the words, “I still love you. It doesn’t change our relationship.”

Friends, I challenge you to consider the areas of your life that you’re not living in honesty. What are you hiding? What fears cripple you? What’s the one thing that you’re afraid if someone found out, they’d certainly abandon you? We’ve spent far too long submitting our secrets to Post Secret. It’s time to live with honesty. True friends love regardless of sexual preference, struggle or the secrets you’ve held onto for far too long.

From the office to the dinner table, the gym to the church, let’s commit embrace honest living and fight the fear of man.