The End Of + The Beginning Of

Boxes line what little floorspace that’s left throughout my house. Boxes on top of boxes. Each box is labeled with its contents and its future destination. “Kitchen: Plates, Glasses, Entertaining.  Bedroom: Clothes: T-shirts, Socks, Underwear.” After over 5 years of residing at what has become known as ThePlex, I’ve decided to make a move.

While some would expect the next paragraph of this post to be about me relocating to Boston, that time hasn’t quite come… yet. My original plan was to move to Boston by July 2011. I’ve found that God has a way of changing our plans and ordering our steps, typically with the outcome being anything far greater than we could have asked for, planned or imagined. Several months ago I began praying that God would make it clear what was next for me. For the longest time I’ve felt a deep calling to Boston. After my visit in April 2010 that calling was confirmed and I’m certain that one day I will live in and minister to the city of Boston. Yet, even with that calling confirmed and Boston being my long term destination, there have been several key factors in my decision to remain in Columbia (a bit) longer:

  • Vision: In August 2010 I accepted a position as a Collections Representative for Vision Property Management. Within 3 months of being on staff I was promoted to Collections Division Manager. During my time of praying I was approached by another member of our Senior Management Team and was asked to help start a Bible Study for our staff. The first week of the Bible Study we had 12 employees show up including our CEO. I’ve had multiple coworkers open up to me about issues they’re walking through: divorce, abuse, eating disorders, anxiety and dealing with dysfunctional families.  All that to say I know that, for now, with the favor I’ve been shown by my employer and the work God is doing in my coworkers, I am certain God wants me to remain at VPM (for now).
  • Neighbors: For the longest time I’ve had a deep desire to live in a real neighborhood. Sure, I currently live in a neighborhood, but if you’ve ever been to my place you know that the intersection of Main and Fairfield doesn’t lend itself to allowing one to run, bike or even have a change at connecting with other families in the neighborhood. The fact is, I really don’t live in a neighborhood; it’s more so an intersection. Once God gave me clarity on remaining in Columbia, I knew the next step was to relocate. After much searching, I’ve found an amazing new home in the Rosewood community. Complete with runners, dog walkers and children playing in the street, this is the type of neighborhood I’ve been desiring for a long time. My new house is also exactly one mile from my gym, Anytime Fitness, and my favorite grocery store, Earth Fare. This past Monday I had the opportunity to meet most of the neighbors and I’m looking forward to hosting my first cookout of the summer!
  • Roommate: With the new house comes the addition of a roommate. It’s been over 2 years since I’ve had a roommate. My previous roommate of 4 years, Rich Zuch, was a rare find and proved to be irreplaceable… well, almost. I’ve been nervous about having another roommate, but after much prayer I asked Josh Cox to consider moving in and commit to spend the next year loving and serving the Rosewood community with me. Thankfully Josh has agreed to move in! Josh has been an amazing friend and brother. I have a huge amount of respect for him and his walk with God and can’t wait to see what the Lord does through him and I being roommates.  Josh has always wanted a dog too, so I think secretly he’s more excited about living with Killian than with me!
  • Midtown: Midtown has asked me to help co-lead Mission Hubs, an effort to encourage our church members to become missionaries within their neighborhoods, connecting, loving and serving their neighbors while pushing them toward the Gospel. I’m thankful for the opportunity to lead while also being in a new neighborhood where I can put what I teach into practice.

Soon the boxes will start making their crosstown journey. 1945 days of living in the same place will soon come to a close. I’m thankful for the memories that resulted from my time at ThePlex and look forward to what’s to come in my new home!

Again Today

Boston came up again today randomly in a conversation. It makes me smile every time I think about it. The thought that one day God might use me to plant a church there or simply go and live in deep community with others, being a reflection of Him to a lost city makes me smile.

Dreams. Callings. All good things. For now though, Columbia is home. (I mean that in a good way.)

Thoughts. Ramblings. Bitchings.

I sit on my big green couch. The lights are off. (Yes, I am sitting in the dark.) The glow of the computer screen illuminates my face. Killain, my 65lb yellow lab is laying on the couch as well. She broke the “no dogs on the couch rule” tonight. It just feels better having her beside me. I will vacuum the dog hair up tomorrow.

It’s been a weekend full of conversations. Some were indepth and involved topics like sex, intimacy, hope, homosexuality, racism and the Lord, while others were lighthearted and made me laugh. So many of my friends are ready to move on to a new stage in their life. Some are ready to leave everything and everyone behind and flea to another city. One is ready to simply get married and spend “forever” with his wife. Another dreams of a new life in Boston. It seems that everyone has it figured out. Call it their “Five Year Plan”– they know where they want to be and what they want to be doing five years from now. For myself it’s a struggle to know what I want five days from now– or what the next five minutes holds. I do however wonder what God’s “Master Plan” is for me. For years I felt called to be a Youth Pastor. That calling has faded. I believe the Lord has more for me than to work in a Call Center the rest of my life. (Personally, I think I am too talented and gifted.) But, maybe that is what He has for me now. Call Center. House Church Leader. Roommate. Friend to many. Counselor to some.

I am starting to like Columbia. No, it’s not my dream city. (I mean hell, I live in the ghetto.) But slowly I am seeing the good here. There are new developments, shops, galleries and bistro’s opening all the time. I think this city just requires one to look below the harsh exterior. There is culture here. While there are numerous things I hate like the humidity, homelessness, racial barriers, the filth and the dysfunctional highways- maybe I can make it here another year or two.

I am considering writing a book. I am not ready to go into the details yet, but needless to say it will be an expression of my life thus far, the wars, tears, victories and failures. Maybe it will inspire others. Maybe others will find the hope and help they need to gain victory in their own lives.

I get an Epidural Steroid Injection on Tuesday at 3p. In all honestly, I am not looking forward to it. Looking at me and my tattoos and piercings you wouldn’t think that I have a fear of needles. I DO THOUGH. I HATE NEEDLES. Every time I have blood drawn or get a shot I sing Christmas carols to myself. It is my way of taking my mind off of it. I did some research on WebMD and Google and found out that the procedure only has a 50% success rate. The complications though are slim to none. Worst case scenario would be that my legs would be numb for about a week. At this point, that would be okay with me since most of the pain I am experiencing is in my lower back and my legs.

Well, it is almost 4a. Lately I have been plagued with the inability to sleep. I even tried taking my sleeping meds again and they have failed me. My dad gave me some amazing advice and said that eventually your body will get tired and give up— and in the giving up comes sleep. I really hope my body decides to surrender to some good, deep sleep soon!

"Boston"

In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun…
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must’ve crossed… you said…

You don’t know me, you don’t even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don’t know me, and you don’t wear my chains... oh yeah,

Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you… they’re not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said…

You don’t know me, you don’t even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don’t know me, and you don’t wear my chains… oh yeah,

She said I think I’ll go to Boston
I think I’ll start a new life,
I think I’ll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I’ll get out of California, I’m tired of the weather,
I think I’ll get a lover and fly em out to Spain…
I think I’ll go to Boston,
I think that I’m just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind…
I think I need a sunrise, I’m tired of the sunset,
I hear it’s nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice… oh yeah,

Boston… where no one knows my name…
Where no one knows my name…
Where no one knows my name…
Yeah Boston
Where no one knows my name.