For some, September 20th 2011 has been a historic day. It’s a day that, with the signature of President Obama, thousands are allowed to legally live openly and with total honesty in regards to the life they’re living. The hiding is over. Today marks the end of “don’t ask, don’t tell” in the Military. Early this morning a friend posted the below YouTube video on his Facebook wall.
I will admit that by the end of this video, I was in tears. I sat in my office this morning listening to the fear in this man’s voice as he told his dad for the first time that he’s gay. There was the questioning of “will you love me… period?” Then there was the sound of relief once the burden he had been carrying for years was off his chest. For once he could finally start living in freedom, openness and honesty.
This post isn’t a debate of homosexuality. During the 28 years of my life, one thing has proven true: I live with a fear of man. I am more concerned about what you’ll think of me, if you’ll remain my friend and if your love toward me will continue. I continually sacrifice myself and Christ’s calling and instead settle for a life plagued with insecurity because I am afraid of what others will think of me if I were to live in true honesty. I hide my fears, failures and short comings because at the end of the day I am more concerned about so called “love” from so called “friends” than living a life of brutal honesty, exposing my fears, learning from my failures and overcoming my short comings.
From the my office to the dinner table, the gym to the church, far too many of us live in fear. A friend once told me “fuck what other people think.” While you might disagree with the choice of language, there’s truth in that statement. Get over what others will think, or better yet, what you think others will think. The soldier in the video above was fearful of what he thought his dad’s reaction would be. He was afraid because he thought his dad would be angry and would turn his back on him. Instead he was met with the words, “I still love you. It doesn’t change our relationship.”
Friends, I challenge you to consider the areas of your life that you’re not living in honesty. What are you hiding? What fears cripple you? What’s the one thing that you’re afraid if someone found out, they’d certainly abandon you? We’ve spent far too long submitting our secrets to Post Secret. It’s time to live with honesty. True friends love regardless of sexual preference, struggle or the secrets you’ve held onto for far too long.
From the office to the dinner table, the gym to the church, let’s commit embrace honest living and fight the fear of man.
The fear in the young man, brought tears to my eyes. I was brought up much different than I turned out and my parents would question my sanity if they were still alive. I thank God that the lessons of my youth did not become my beliefs. I am the mother of five young men. Would it change my love for them if any of the five were gay? No! I love them unconditionaly, the same way God, my father loves me and tells us to do the same. It would be a much happier world if people did that and did not judge. I have been hurt many times in ways that I do not talk about, unless in therapy or one on one if it would help you if I shared. I try to keep things inside in my pandora’s box and only I have the key to let the demons out. My prayer is that one day, the world will stop judging and leave that for God, then love each other just for the blessings they bring to our life. Everyone who touches your life, if you will let them , will give you lessons on love, joy, peace, and leave you a better person for the way you love them as the father tells us to do. There is something beautiful in each of us, you just have get close and share. I pray the fear we saw in the young man will one day not be there and we will just love each other.