Don’t Be Fooled

Don’t be fooled by the confident, sometimes witty and sarcastic exterior. Inside, I am scared and my self-confidence is quickly dwindling. You see, I’ve been unemployed for two solid months. I completed over 50 job applications, 20 online personality assessments, and to date have only been offered one interview.

When I got laid off I kept telling myself “your identity isn’t in a job… it’s in Christ.” That was easy for me to believe then, considering the job I was laid off from had me locked in a cubical 8 hours a day. Victory had come! I was finally free from the job I hated for so long. I felt as if me being laid off was God’s way of pushing me on to the next thing He has for me.

But now, fast-forward 2 months. I am realizing that the  job I hated  brought stability. It brought routine. It brought financial security. It provided health insurance. (And we all know I need health insurance!) Am I guilty of finding my identity in my job? Maybe?!

As the old hymn says: “My hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus’ love and righteousness.” Some days I can easily cling to Christ as my hope  Lately, it’s been an all out war to simply remain confident and continue to find my identity and hope in Christ.

So for now I must press on and believe that: “On Christ the solid rock I stand; all other ground is sinking sand.”

Singleness: One Of Those Weeks

Ever have one of those weeks that you’re so lonely you consider reactivating your E-Harmony account? Yup? It’s been one of those weeks. I have to admit the main reason I have yet to click the “reactivate” button is I am scared of all the creeps and lonely people E-Harmony might match me with. (Though I guess I could be considered a lonely creep too.)

Most days I do well with being 26 and still single. The 3 months from Thanksgiving (when the mushy Christmas commercials start) though February 15th (when the nauseating, “Diamonds are Forever” commercials end) seem to be the hardest. The other day I found myself getting pissed at the little red, white and pink Hershey Kisses at Target. Though they have no soul, I was positive they were laughing at me for being lonely and single.

Oddly, over the past few weeks I have had several people ask me pointblank if I am content being single. My snap answer has been “oh yes, absolutely.” But in all honesty, there are days were I don’t want to be alone anymore. I’m ready to settle down and start a family.

Lately I have been focused on making singleness an opportunity instead of a prison sentence. I’ve found that I don’t hate being single near as much when I am focusing on God and finding my identity in Him. I’ve also found that being single affords me numerous opportunities that would be much more difficult to take part in if I were married. At this point in my life, the only person I have to worry about is myself (and my two dogs of course).

So for now I will hold off on reactivating my E-Harmony account. I’m too cheap to pay the membership fee anyway.

Method Man Review: Method Laundry

I’m proud to introduce my new little friend, Method Laundry, new from Method Home. As an Brand Advocate for Method, I’ve had the privledge of using this new product for the past month before it hit stores.

Method has revolutionized the laundry industry with the creation of this 8x ultra-concentrated formula that they call SmartClean Technology™. (CLICK HERE to learn more about SmartClean Technology™.) Method Laundry comes in a new, state-of-the-art, no mess pump bottle. The bottle is small enough to be convenient and easy for me to carry with to the laundry mat, as well as not taking up valuable storage space in my small apartment. Sure, the pump design of the bottle seems odd at first, but it actually has made doing laundry more fun, not to mention a heck of a lot easier.

So why should you care about a new laundry detergent? Aren’t all laundry detergents the same anyway? Method Laundry is greener, using 95% natural and renewable ingredients. It’s non-toxic, kid and skin-friendly. The small packaging uses 36% less plastic and is made from 50% recycled plastic. Oh, and it gets your clothes seriously clean. It comes in three scents: Fresh Air, Peony Blossom and Free + Clear. (I’m currently using Fresh Air.)

If you want to try out Method Laundry, let me know. I have some samples I’d be glad to share with you. Method Laundry is available at Target and Lowe’s as wells as online from MethodHome.com. CLICK HERE for a $2 off coupon.

Cheers to a Cleaner Clean with Method Laundry.

Bucking Comfort.

“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity and conservatism, all of which appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun” (Christopher McCandless)

Lord, my I have the initiative and boldness to buck security, comfort and conservatism. Help me be willing to make sacrifices to embrace Your calling and to walk in the conviction of your Spirit and Truth.

Today I Cussed.

Today I cussed. Not just once, but multiple times. In truth, today was really one of those days that I really should have taken another Ambien and just gone back to bed. The two pots of coffee and the cigarette I bummed off a lady at the Unemployment Office did nothing for me except leave me jittery and smelling like an ashtray.

I’ve been unemployed for one month now. Most blogs I have read from others in my position recommend taking the first two to three months after being laid off and doing some soul searching. One blogger said, “I took a two week vacation… Resting, relaxing and the joys of having Room Service helped me find inner peace and have time to refocus my energy and rediscover myself.” Obviously she either had a ton left in her savings account or the state of California pays a lot more each week in Unemployment than South Carolina. (And she likes to alliterate with the letter “r.”) While the idea of a 2 week vacation sounds glorious, I for one am more concerned about paying rent and making sure my dogs have food in their bowls.

I’ve tried to be diligent in applying for jobs each week. I promised myself I wouldn’t count how many jobs I have applied for, but at this point it must be well over 50. To date, ZERO call backs. I’ve told myself over and over it must be the holidays. “No one does hiring during the holiday season.” Is that the truth? Hopefully. For now that is what I am choosing to believe.  Hopefully once 2010 starts my resume will move to the top and maybe I will start getting some call backs.

Yet, though my use of profanity (which, some might believe that plus the cigarette I smoked might send me straight to hell) and my unfaithfulness, God is so faithful to continue to provide. Daily I am amazed at the encouragement from friends and family and the support of those around me. I am sure there will be many frustrating and tiresome days ahead, but we serve a gracious and faithful God.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹I will be found by you…”  (Jeremiah 29:11-14)